I’ve been thinking… (I’ve done that a lot this past week)
I have some major adjustments up ahead, and there’s no doubt there will be some challenges for me to deal with…
I fear a lot of things.
I’m anxiously awaiting the conflicts up ahead.
I know I have some bad times coming my way.
But I’m also realizing more and more that I’m ready for change (no, this is not Obama’s election speech, although I may have stolen some of his ideas). I’m ready to take control in my life and change things for the better, make it better for me and my surroundings.
As I’ve said before, I’m spending some time away from home. The house in which I’m living at the moment is down right beautiful. I live with a woman and one of her sons. She is creative and innovative with every fibre in her body, and the apartment clearly reflects that. One wall is entirely dedicated to books, the rest decorated with paintings and craftsmanship. There are hand sown pillows, restored antique furniture and small objects that you never quite can figure out how to make use of. A series of lime green details neatly scattered around ties the whole thing together. In short, there’s more than enough in this house for me to study, admire and examine. I still end up looking at something else, though. It always catches my eye. She has hung up pictures of her sons and boyfriend on the fridge. There’s also a picture of her and a little girl on some sort of party, but I haven’t had the courage to ask her about it yet. (I don’t want her to think me a sneak.) Not that it really matters, it’s not all that important. What does matter is the fact that she has taken the time to do it. These people are important to her. They are the ones that matter in her life. She reminds herself of this everyday when she passes that fridge, and everyone who comes in to her kitchen will also be informed of it. I have decided that I too will hang pictures of my loved ones on my fridge one day, when the time comes for fridge-owning. The thought makes me feel relaxed and calm. I haven’t been relaxed or calm in weeks. Maybe this is a sign of recovery?
Summary: I’m ready for change and I want to be a picture-hanging fridge owner.